Thursday, September 27, 2007

S-CHIP Follies, or, Mommy Is A Democrat Because Republicans Hate Children

Heard something today that truly brought to mind the term schadenfruede. Mitch McConnell (R-Lackey), confronted with a bill that would radically choose to fully fund the State Children's Health Insurance Program (S-CHIP), was quoted today on NPR: "Democrats are counting down the hours, so they can tee up the election ads, saying Republicans don't like kids."

To which I reply:

You are 100% Fucking-A right, Skippy. Even if you concede that Republicans opposed to S-CHIP are opposed for some deep philosophical reason, such as chronic diseases will toughen up the coming generations, it's still the case that you're getting it shoved back down your throat. Why? Oh, let me it for Willie Horton? Maybe it's "Al Gore claims he invented the Internet," or maybe it's turning triple-amputee Max Cleland into some kind of wimp because he didn't support the Deciderator in Iraq.

If you're getting shoved down your fucking throat that you hate kids, it's only sweet sweet karmic payback for the decades of sludge, muck, fecal matter and slime tossed by Repub after Repub. He who lives by the false innuendo, dies by the false innuendo, motherfucker.

There seems to be some kind of trope running through the Republican party, that despite running the country into the ground while enjoying total control of the Legislative, Judicial and of course the Dictatorial...I mean, Executive...branches, somehow they're PUT UPON. I was once told by someone (a Bush Supporter) that she felt hostility directed towards her for her sign supporting Bush in her lawn. A lawn in Mequon, WI.* For a moment, I simply couldn't understand what the FUCK she was talking about.

Slowly, it dawned on me. Other encounters with known Republicans (don't worry I have a list...when the Revolution comes Guantanamo will be FULL, baby) suddenly made sense. Republicans think they're being unacceptably put upon when even ONE person around them disagrees, no matter how politely.

Seriously. Somewhere in the conservative mindset lies the equation "Having to look at a Democratic candidate's placard"="Rosa Parks being told to go to the back of the bus."

It's why, despite controlling EVERY aspect of business, and government most of the time, and the military all of the time, they find it INTOLERABLE that large universities are havens of liberal control. They don't even NOTICE that they control all the other levers of society. The fact that there is even the SLIGHTEST dissent drives them bugnuts.

So, I say to Mitch: Cry me a fucking river, asshole. I hope the Democrats run an ad every week in every district that has a congresscritter that voted against S-CHIP, and every state with a Senator that voted against it (actually a short list, since the Senate, unlike the House, actually has the votes to override Bushie's veto) from now until election day. Just so I NEVER have to hear, "Children are so precious to us that we must insert your favorite totalitarian impulse here," out of one of their PIEHOLES ever again.

*For those of you who've never lived in Milwaukee, Mequon is an affluent suburb, north of Milwaukee. There are few places more Republican than Mequon. Affirmative action consists of busing in kids who don't have their own trust funds, so their betters can see them occasionally. The only place more Republican in Milwaukee than Mequon, is Waukesha. And that's only because Waukesha adds the religiously fanatic to the overwhelmingly self-absorbed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Halo 3 NOT taking up all of my time. Unfortunately.

The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Pedant is planning on getting it for me for an anniversary present, which goes to show that I married well. As a result, I am afraid I would seem a insist on getting it right now. RIGHT NOW!!! OMFG I waaannntt!!!!

I mean, look, the LATMP (Lovely And Talented Mrs. Pedant) accepts my video game thing. She's helping me by planning on getting the BIGGEST crack rock available for an addict this year. And yet...

I do not...YET...have a copy of Bioshock. Why? Because I figure one insane obsession at a time. Except I ALSO don't have a copy of Halo 3. Which fundamentally means that my insane obsession is a free floating vaporous apparition, coked to the gills and cruising for hookers in Vegas. World Of Warcraft should fill the void, but First Person Shooter-y goodness awaits.

Just running around farming adamantite seems...tame...compared to a no holds barred grudge match between Master Chief (me) and the Covenant's insane triumvirate. I long to debate the finer points of politics with them, primarily with an assault rifle and plasma grenades, but occasionally with dual SMGs. Even my coming apotheosis as a Level 70 Hunter can not POSSIBLY compare with mowing down thousands of gibbering panicky Covenant Grunts.

So I am at loose ends at the moment. Those of you who have Halo 3 (you know who you are, assholes!) can just keep it to yourself. And the first person to blow the story line for me gets a frag shoved where the sun don't shine. At least for a short time...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Email That Started It All

Below is the email that led to "Blog, blog, BLOG" requests...

"Why Is Compromise Impossible?"

Because of batshit arrogant crap like this I find in Talking Points Memo: "Schlozman [a former US Attorney and head of several departments within Justice at various times] has further been accused of politicizing the hiring at the Civil Rights Division, famously commenting that he was replacing Democratic hires with "good Americans." It's this activity which the Department's joint internal investigation, led by the inspector general and Office of Professional Responsibility, is probing."

You know why it's war to the knife, Repubs? YOU made it that way. Because of your "I don't wanna pay taxes, I don't wanna pay taxes, wah, wah, WAH!" temper tantrum, there are near 4000 dead US Soldiers in Iraq, tens of thousands maimed, hundreds of billions of dollars wasted (including
several billion with a B in CASH simply LOST...these huge pallets of currency seemed to just "grow legs"), Iran turned into THE major regional power and now the Justice Department may require an actual PURGE...the kind with firing squads and last get rid of the Young Republican Frat Boy Apparatchiks YOU'VE put there.

You'll be lucky if we don't just
saw off the theocrat South and let it slowly devolve into a third world nation with crappy sanitation and babies running around naked with swollen stomachs based on its stated hostility to the scientific method as their engineers and doctors begin to think natural laws are open to church input.

If you don't understand the difference between George W Bush's corrupt, mendacious, TOXIC administration and mere doofery (a la
Jimmy Carter) in a government, if you GENUINELY don't GET that this is one of the two worst adminstrations in history* (that's a FOOTNOTE guys, how many rants are annotated?) and you still believe "They're all the same, government is just like this, both parties do it" then sit down and STOP VOTING. The adults have to clean up the mess from your tantrum and they'd appreciate you NOT BOTHERING THEM WITH YOUR INANE WHINING while they work.

Until the last presidential election I still harbored hope that there were some
ADULT Republicans we could work with, but apparently they've either left the country, became Democrats or Democratic Leaning Independants or just had a total ball-ectomy and have given in to the Bushies special brand of religion and hatred for the Constitution's civil rights provisions. No matter why, there IS no Republican, currently carrying water of ANY sort politically, that doesn't richly deserve contempt at this point, and who shouldn't be run out of office with extreme prejudice (I'm talking to YOU, Snowe, Smith and Sununu). Why is there no compromise? Because you people killed any possibility. Negotiating with you just gets us Lieberman. Time to get nasty.

*Depending on whether you think the Civil War was worse for the country than a total loss of geopolitical authority and
"destruction by neglect" of the all volunteer military and hence our strategic position in the world...James Buchanan is neck and neck with Dub. Buchanan was worse for the country inside the country, Bush was worse for the country in the WORLD. You pays your money and you makes your pick. Given that the Civil War at least produced ONE worthy outcome, emancipation, I've gonna pin the medal on our current Idiot Manchild President. But if you think it's Buchanan, well, I won't derogate the choice.

Congressional Oversight Kills

Apparently, according to our inestimable Intelligence "Czar" Mike McConnell during testimony in hearings regarding FISA, a law so stringent and unreasonable that the number of times the authorities have been denied a warrant during the entire post-Watergate period can be counted on ONE HAND, has informed congress that holding hearings regarding the law (which has been on public record, since, oh...WATERGATE) would ensure that "some Americans are going to die".

Whoa. And here I thought the Congress was PART of government, and proper oversight was, ya know, part of the JOB. Silly me. In the era of the Deciderator, you shut up and hope the Republican Apparatchiks never notice you.

I mean the only place McConnell has EVER discussed FISA is the sacrosanct, highly classified, Top Secret (Sensitive Compartmented Intelligence) forums of....the El Paso TIMES?!?!?

Oh my stars and garters! I can't BELIEVE we're risking the public by discussing FISA in CONGRESS rather than the El FUCKING Paso Times, where these things belong.

This goddamn administration makes my teeth itch.

So...since Mikey-baby will no doubt get want he wants, what SHOULD we change the national anthem to, now that "Land of the free, and the home of the brave" is self-evidently inaccurate? Comments welcome.

Monday, September 17, 2007

So You All Talked Me Into It

All right, all right. Friends, and not a few victims of my righteous rants, have talked me into this. From time to time I have been known to send out emails, usually after I've seen something online that makes me crazy. Some of them have verged on the poetic, if I do say so myself, as long as your definition of "poetic" includes "obscenity laced with a lot of caps".

Assuming that for some reason, far be it from me to fathom, you don't already know me, let me tell you a bit about myself. I have a Bachelor's in Anthropology and a Master's in Business Administration. Try and wrap your brain around THAT one. I'm a former combat arms officer in the United States Army, which means that my left of center politics are somewhat unusual and my penchant for potty language is endemic. So, if scatology and blasphemic utterances bother you: Stop fucking reading this goddamn post, fact clear the fuck out right now and never return. Nothing makes me crazier than someone who thinks torture is just fine but gets the vapors when confronted with four letter words.

Other than that, I'm a Red Sox fan. I like baseball and could care less about football. An obsession with football and George W Bush are two of the many things Texas owes the rest of us for. I read, mostly geeky SF, so that may pop up from time to time, not to mention a fairly toxic videogame obsession. And as a card carrying member of Gen X, I'm not above the occasional pop culture reference.

So there you have a few things you might see descending order of frequency: Posts on politics from a left of center perspective, a fair amount of "So and so is an overrated hack of an author" or "Let me tell you about why Halo 3 is teh timesuck," and appreciation of bad 80s movies.

Oh, and if you want to comment, feel free. I'll feel free to call you a fucktard if you approve of anything Bush has done, up to and including his latest bowel movement, but have at it. I've always wanted to find a Repub who's willing to stand up in some forum other than Dittoheadland. Surprise me.